You know, shit like this is the reason I think it might be cool to be President of the U.S. I'm sure that the first day on the job, some men in black sit the newly elected Commander-in-Chief down and explain how to launch a thermonuclear war, that the moon shot was a fake, that we have trained dolphins to shoot people, and that U.S.-backed arborists we have secretly grown money trees.

I can't wait to see this on Animal Planet's Magical World of Mercenary Marine Mammals.

Clinton recently said that he sent a staffer to check out the truth about the Roswell Incident.

But the real pressing question is which is the most deadly: secret dolphins with a liscense to kill, sharks with freakin' laser beams on their heads, or dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you. As usual, The Straight Dope has already started pondering that question.